Strength TogetHER 16 - Session 4

 

December 11, 2021

Coming to the fourth session “Learning To Deal With My Problems” we knew much more about each other.  We were comfortable with each other and we had already started finding comfort among each other. Our physical session in Mahendra Bhawan was moderated virtually by Miss. Rosy Karna. Ms. Rosy Karna is currently pursuing her doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology at the PGSP Stanford Psy. D. Consortium Program. It was such a delight to have her presence with us. 

We started the session with a simple question - How many of us have problems in life? Everyone answered they all have problems in their lives. We started by sharing what were the problems we faced. Some of the problems which we faced were small as well as big. But we all faced problems in life.

“Being criticized by others hurts a lot” our participant mentioned with teary eyes and a shaky voice. 

Our participant mentioned how her school dress does not dry up and she irons and wears it. But it feels wet and when returning home she gets scolded by her parents.

Being in a new school, not being able to find good friends, classmates throwing her things away, and being bullied by her classmates were some of the problems she faced in her new school.

Our participant shares her problem with how her pet eats her homework and it is unbelievable in school or in front of the teacher.

Being fooled by friends jokingly sometimes hurts a lot.

Our participant shared how there is always discrimination among boys and girls, and in her house, she feels the same.

Being too skinny or too fat, she faces the problem of body shaming by her own parents and relatives.

Our moderator could relate herself to so many of the problems mentioned by the girls. After hearing all the problems she mentioned “Problem is a problem. There is no such as a big problem or small problem” 

Another question raised by our moderator was How do we solve our problem? Answers from our girls were:

• Taking a good sleep

• Stress eating 

• Not showing emotion in front of people.

• Sitting in the room alone and crying heart out

• Playing with dogs

• Breaking things around.

• Writing journal following with crying

• Sleeping with the whole face covered

• Hurting oneself

• Sharing the problem with friends

• Crying 

As our moderator mentioned these are all temporary reliefs that are like distractions from our problems. We need to find out the solution to our problem. Our problem-solving part of the brain does not work when we are angry, sad, and hurt. Not only with the negative emotion with happiness, but excitement our brain problem-solving brain also does not work. Hence, we need to calm our brains during that moment. 

When we are angry we usually take action without thinking about the consequences in the long term. We may have thoughts to harm others but we have to look into long-term consequences. We tend to take risks at a young age. The risk-taking part is important for youth as it helps us move forward. But we must keep looking into long-term consequences.

Another question raised by our moderator was - How to control anger? Some of the replies by our participants were:

• Thinking about parents.

• Life is important and believing in oneself can solve the problem.

• Cursing but not taking the action immediately,

• Not taking decisions in anger and sadness.

• Positive Thinking.

• Sitting in nature.

Some of the tips mentioned by our moderator are :

• Don’t think about the things you cannot control about.

• We even tackle the COVID situation by adopting ways to live with it. 

• The only thing we can control is how we react to situations.

• Confronting the problems after we are calm about the situation.

By the end of the session we promised each other we will not carry any sharp object with us. With the trust and love from each other, we wrapped up the session. We shared our experience on the canvas as a gift for our moderator. We all ended the session with warm love from America. Indeed it was a beautiful and heartwarming session by Miss. Rosy Karna.